What To Say To The Cops If You Steal A Car and Crash It Into Another Car

“I was borrowing my friend’s car to go to the store and get some milk and eggs.  I don’t have the registration with me, but that’s not my fault because it’s not actually my car, it’s my friend’s.  I’m pretty sure that he has insurance on it, so if you could just let me run back there and tell him what happened, then I’ll bring him back over and we will get this whole mess straightened out.  I’ll be right back…say ten minutes?  Thanks officer.”

Then let out a loud fart and speed away.

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